Section 8 Clan Forums

Usually I post about movies I've seen. Today, it's about a movie trailer I've seen for a movie that I know I will be going to see when it comes out. I'm actually pretty excited about this one: Stan & Ollie. The trailer is below and I will let it speak for itself. Well, except for the release date. The trailer says, "Coming Soon" but I've seen other sources that say Jan 11th 2019. I can't wait to see it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdcBNrjc3wo

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That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.

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Last week, or the week before? I went and saw Venom. As the delay in my posting a review may have implied, I was not terribly thrilled with this movie. It was just a mindless action flick with no real plot, every cliché in the book and some pretty bad acting. The CGI effects are about on par with the crash at the end of Air Force One, 1997 (clip below for reference). I was one of three people in the theater. Not only that, I don't usually browse the internet from my phone during movies, but I needed something to be entertained with while watching this film.

The story itself was mostly cannon from the Comic Book, as much as can be without Spider-Man appearing in it. The biggest flaw I saw, which is present in every adaptation of this character from Comics, to Spider-Man 3 (2007), to Venom; is the creature's weakness to sounds in the 4,000-6,000Hz range. Every depiction of this character always shows he experiences extreme pain when exposed to those sounds frequencies. The problem with this is that there is NO WHERE IN THE UNIVERSE where you are free of those sounds except the vacuum of space. The fact that humans cannot hear them does not mean they are not there. Of course this really becomes amplified (forgive the pun) in this film when they take it to unrealistic extremes by having those sounds emitted from a CT Machine at the hospital. While it is possible that those machines do emit sounds in those frequencies, this movie implies that those sounds are how the machine works. The film makers completely confuse Computed Tomography with Ultrasound. The former uses radiation, just like an X-Ray machine (except 50,000 times the dose of an X-ray) to produce its images. The latter uses sound beyond human perception. But this was far from what killed the movie for me. This was more like the oven that cremated it. The film was dead long before that scene was even shown, and it occurred twenty minutes into the film.

In the end: the mindless action scenes are plentiful, the humor is sparse, the character suffering is low, the audience suffering is high. Not a good film.

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That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.

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I went and saw Bohemian Rhapsody the other night. People were singing an clapping to the tunes, cool

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That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.

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Earlier this week I went and saw Green Book. Set in 1962's New York City and various places around the eastern US, it follows the story of Dr. Don Shirley, a black piano player, as he is driven around the country by "Tony Lip", a racist Italian club bouncer. They have their fair share of run ins with each other and other people on their journey. There's quite a bit of comedy in the film as well, one of the most hilarious scenes is where Tony is trying to impress Dr. Don Shirley by informing him he'd bought one of his records. Shirley asks him which one, and Tony replies, "The one about the orphans, the picture on the album is of all the kids sittin' around the camp fire." Don explains to him the title's name is Orpheus and the characters on the cover are demons in the bowels of hell. Tony misinterprets it completely, but is still shocked and replies, "Shit. Those must've been some naughty kids!"

One of my biggest pet peeves in the USA right now, especially over the last eight years, is so many people proclaim racism is the cause of everything. A few years ago while working Security at Six Flags I was called to a fight in the park. As I'm about to arrive, three other employees come up (two blacks and an Asian) yelling there was a fight going on and took me over to it. They pointed to this one black guy, jumping up and down and all excitable & clearly pissed off as hell ready to kick someone's ass. He's being held back by three other black people. There is no one else around that even remotely appears to be part of this because the other party did what he wanted to do to the guy and ran off. So I make contact with the guy who's probably ready (but certainly not capable) to go head to head against insert name of boxing heavy-weight fighter here. As soon as he calms down, one of the other people with him lays into me, "Let me explain something to you. I understand that you're white and you can't see this, but your response to this is motivated in your racism. You singled out the one black guy here and didn't even do nothing to the other guy." He went on for an hour with all his delusional lies, because he actually believes that racism plays a part in everything.

Why am I putting that story in with this review? Because people like that need to go see this movie and see what REAL racism is. Dr. Don Shirley gets thrown in jail simply for being a passenger in a car at night. He's nearly killed because he steps inside a white's only bar. Other black people look down on him with contempt because they see success as a betrayal. Yet in today's society a bad grade on a report card is believed to be racially motivated. A kid points a gun at a cop and gets shot, that's racism according to the lies our society currently believes. Go watch this movie and get a small glimpse of what real racism looks like, where Tony actually throws out cups that black men drank from rather than washing them. Based on his attitude in the beginning of the film, I'm surprised he even touched them without gloves much less picked them up to toss them in the garbage. And yet we've come so far away from that no one even remembers what it looks like anymore; yet they insist it must still be alive so they scream "racism" at everything, just like Chicken Little believing the sky was falling every time gravity showed its power. Go see this film.

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That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.

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Thank you for this bit of wisdom, Nilrem. I appreciate you bringing this to light, and always enjoy your reviews

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"If I can't do it.." -NobodyCan

Just saw Mortal Engines. I don’t know where to begin with this movie. It’s basically the story of a ginger, who was raised by a retarded terminator, trying to kill a humanized Darth Vader on board his wheeled death-star like contraption before it destroys the Great Wall of China. They even went with the “fly inside and shoot the reactor” typical of Star Wars solutions to destroying big machines.

The film starts off with a LOT of explanations about everything. There is no natural dialogue for the first half of the movie and very little after the first half. Characters who have supposedly been interacting for years are just now explaining things as if they met five minutes ago. You could watch every episode of Star Trek TOS, TNG, DS9, VOY, and ENT plus ALL the movies and still not come away with as much exposition as you find in this film. The characters don’t interact, they recite their autobiographies at each other. There are no plot twists because there is no interesting plot to follow. Sure they try to throw in the “I am your father” contrivance but it doesn’t work at all because you never learn enough about who the characters are. Facts about a person and their past do not flesh out a character. The first several scenes revolve around a chick with a red scarf, who we're apparently supposed to care about, trying to stab a guy with a beard. And the movie never recovers from there.

For a post apocalyptic world completely destroyed by purple people eaters, there sure were a lot of landmarks that survived to be incorporated in to motorized London. I don’t know about you, but I do not believe what amounts to a nuclear strike on The UK’s most strategic and prominent targets would leave Big Ben in any form of salvageable condition. Especially given that people surviving such an event would not decide that was their top priority. I mean what did their survival check list look like? Shelter? Check. Water? Check? The top two-thirds of a Giant Clock tower? Check. Fire? Check. CNN delivers a narrative that is more believable, and by people who actually seem to have some stake in what they're saying or doing.

Overall this movie was designed to look cool but has absolutely no substance. It’s on par with M Night Shayamalan’s Airbender film or Star Wars Episode I. Not worth seeing in theaters.

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That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.

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Yea, I watched like 10 seconds of the trailer for Mortal Engines, and it looks so horrible... I don't know how Peter Jackson could agree to make something like that (I know he just co-produced it, but still).

I am going to keep this one short, and on point.

I just saw Holmes and Watson. Outright terrible. Do not watch this film. The few jokes that work are not sufficient to make up for all the unfunny and disgusting crap like five minutes of puking and smearing wet cake all over a nude corpse. This film should not have been made. I am literally embarrassed for the people and companies and studios whose names are legally required to be listed in the credits. The only thing good about this experience was the relief I felt after visiting the restroom since I had a large coke during the movie.

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That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.

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This week I saw....

Walt Disney’s Star Wars Mary Poppins Awakens

And yes, I do mean to imply it’s an over hyped sequel that shares little but the name with the original. Mary Poppins Returns is the cover of the book without any of the actual real content. Ironically there is a musical number about that exact theme in the film. Aside from that, there are no memorable songs or melodic themes to tie the scenes together.

In the original film Bert had Chim Chimeree, that song always played when he was on screen and all his songs were to that melody. Mary Poppins has her own theme in the original as well. And the songs were well thought out and all made sense.

But in this film, the songs all sound like someone threw a dictionary at a blender and then set the resulting salad to a cacophony of trumpets played by deaf kindergartners. Jack constantly has new songs that do not have anything in common with his previous songs.

The film opens with Jack performing his one job (as opposed to Bert’s six or seven) which is an illuminary, someone who goes around handling the street lamps. He rides his bicycle and uses a candle snuffer on a pole to extinguish the street lamps all over London as dawn approaches. Then on his final lamp, in front of the Bank’s house he climbs his ladder and shuts off the gas to that one lamp.

Do you realize what this means? He just spent the entire opening of the movie going around and putting the flames out on gas powered lamps. He was creating a severe explosion hazard by making gas leaks all over London while singing about God only knows what like a madman!

In short, the makers of this film clearly saw the original and remembered the visual gimmicks but never found the heart of the film. Worth seeing? You wouldn’t really be missing anything if you didn’t, nor gaining anything if you did.

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That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.

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