WEEDS AND VINES GROW OUT OF CONTROL AS LANDSCAPE CREWS FIGHT TO THE DEATH
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The ruins of a kindergarten, smashed to pieces in an airstrike. The grass in the area clearly hasn't been mowed in weeks.
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Vines overtake the water tower, weeds take the ground. Unlike the Outer Limits, no one is in control of the horizontal or the vertical aspects of this scene.
November 2nd -- A date that will likely be forgotten as soon as tomorrow saw a series of unpredictable events unfold that left a small farming community in ruins. Two landscaping crews lay at the center of the destruction. The cause of the carnage was an apparently weeks long argument over which company was responsible for bagging the clippings left behind in the neighborhood after the jobs were completed.
"One day they're out there with mowers, blowers, and trimmers..." said one witness, the owner of a gas station in the area, "...and the next day they've got AK47s and M60s. There was even a helicopter that nearly blew up the dang water tower!"
Another resident, whose library was destroyed, said that the thing more shocking than the violence was how heavily armed these landscape crews were. "Fighter jets conducted multiple precision airstrikes, RPGs were flying all over." He said, "One thing is for sure, if they're able to afford that we've been vastly overpaying for their services."
When told to go to the scene to provide more information on this story, our investigative journalist reportedly replied, "It's grass. Who gives a damn about that?" It's unlikely there will be any further developments.